How I was diagnosed with ADHD at 43
Four years ago both of my children were diagnosed as autistic. Since the age of three, autism was mentioned when the doctors talked about my son.
He only ate sandwiches.
He cried when he had to wear socks.
He couldn’t cope with the feeling of having a bath.
Rain touching his skin caused him pain.
To name just a few.
Yet he masked so much at preschool and school he would come home and be so physically exhausted he would have a meltdown and then fall sleep. Meanwhile my daughter was masking too but because she was chatty and outgoing I didn’t pick up on things.
Like the fact she would only wear one sweatshirt, so I bought her three of them just in case something happened to one of them.
She’d only wear one brand of black leggings.
She struggled to have her hair brushed.
She found friendships incredibly hard.
And socks and shoes caused her pain.
During this process my husband Kelly was diagnosed autistic too. He realised that the children’s autistic traits really resonated. So after 23 years in the corporate world Kelly left and we launched Perfectly Autistic, a neurodiversity consultancy.
Then during lockdown both children were diagnosed with ADHD.
During their assessment the psychologist said to me ‘so you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD?’ I was dumb struck. I was 43 and I didn’t have ADHD.
Yes I have had 30 full time jobs.
Yes I have moved house A LOT.
Yes I talk non stop
Yes I interrupt people
Yes I am super impulsive
Yes I am easily distracted
The list goes on.
But I didn’t think I had ADHD.
Then the lightbulb went on. And then I felt an imposter.
Surely everyone feels this way? Surely everyone gets bored and wants to quit their job? Surely everyone wants to scream if they can’t move about? It turns out they don’t! So I was officially diagnosed with combined ADHD at 43.
Since then I have used my lived and learned experience to train organisations and become a certified ADHD coach.
I have attended EVERY parenting course going (CAHMS made me go on one twice, otherwise they wouldn’t assess my son for anxiety). I also decided to study again and got a Level 2 Understanding Autism qualification.
Since then I have trained organisations including Sony Music, HM Courts and Tribunals, NHS and more and coached a wonderful variety of amazing people. Many of whom received their coaching via Access To Work funding.
When I coach clients or train organisations, I use my experience being neurodivergent myself, being a wife to my autistic / ADHD husband and mum to my autistic / ADHD children, as I have a full understanding of many of the challenges and benefits neurodiversity brings to home life and the workplace.